We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
