he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
