Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
im calling her cock vulture from now on
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
