TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
