in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize