You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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