You can't motorboat a personality
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
