when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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