how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
