I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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