dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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