he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
