I cockslap morals
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
