I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
