Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
