So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
