What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
