You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
