Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
