I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize