omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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