Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
