shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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