My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize