i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
