We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
