Since when is my name a synonym for head?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
