OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
