How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
