New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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