I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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