Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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