If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize