I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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