I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
whose parrot is this?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
