Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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