I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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