And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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