About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
