Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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