I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
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