Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
