Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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