That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
