My brain says no but my pants say off.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
