i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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