I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
