I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
