So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
