Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize