what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize