She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
