Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
