shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
