I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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