she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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