We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
