Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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