No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
