I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
