I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
