I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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