I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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