He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
